Why Jada Pinkett Smith Feels Like She Doesn’t “Know” Will Smith After 22 Years of Marriage

Jada Pinkett Smith is getting real about her relationship with Will Smith.

The 48-year-old actress talked about what she’s learned about her 51-year-old husband amid social distancing on Wednesday’s episode of Red Table Talk.

The subject came up after Jada asked guests Pastor John Gray and his wife Aventer Gray what they’ve learned about each other during this time.

“I have to be honest: I think one of the things that I realize is that I don’t know Will at all,” the Girls Trip star said. “Let me tell you: I feel like there’s a layer that you get to, right? Life gets busy, and you create these stories in your head. And then you hold onto these stories and that is your idea of your partner. But that’s not who your partner is. So, [it’s] going through the process of having to dissolve all the stories and all of the ideas of Will that I have built around those stories.”

She then said “the thing that Will and I are learning to do is be friends.”

“Because you get into all of these ideas of what intimate relationships are supposed to look like, what marriage is supposed to be. So, Will and I are in the process of him taking the time to learn to love himself, me taking the time to learn to love myself, right, and us building a friendship along the way. So, let me tell you: That’s been somethin’ to be married to somebody for 20-some odd years and then realize, ‘I don’t know you and you don’t know me.’ But also realizing too there’s an aspect of yourself you don’t know either.”

Will and Jada tied the knot in December 1997. Like any couple, they’ve experienced their fair shares of ups and downs over the years. Still, they’ve remained committed to one another.

“We don’t even say we’re married anymore,” the Men in Black actor said during a 2018 interview with TIDAL. “We refer to ourselves as ‘life partners,’ where you get into that space where you realize you are literally with somebody for the rest of your life. There’s no deal breakers. There’s nothing she could do—ever—nothing that would break our relationship. She has my support till death, and it feels so good to get to that space.”

To see the full episodes—including Jada’s conversations with the Grays, intimacy expert Michaela Boehm and her co-hosts Willow Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Norris—watch the video.