Fashion, Style

13 St. Patrick’s Day Outfits That Say ‘Don’t Freaking Touch Me’

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The way America celebrates St. Patrick’s day continues to cause confusion, but you can’t avoid not wearing green. Fail to wear a shade of chartreuse and you’re bound to get at least one pestering bystander who hasn’t quite caught up to the fact that unsolicited pinches are not welcome. Surprise, surprise! Lucky for us, we actually love wearing green, a color that designers including Staud, Ralph Lauren, and Jacquemus lovingly embrace. So if Chad from accounting creeps toward with his grubby fingers ready to freak out HR, we provided a spectrum of chic outfits ranging from emerald to lime, with the matching phrase that appropriately tells them to piss off. After all, an olive green puffer jacket just screams “not in today’s climate!”

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Cassette Intrecciato Bag

Bottega Veneta

matchesfashion.com

$2,480

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“Don’t talk to me or my Bottega Veneta ever again.”

Pleated Wide-Leg Pants

Madewell
madewell.com

$85.00

“If you come near me I’ll take off my Birkenstocks.” 

Winnifred Pants

Ralph Lauren
modaoperandi.com

$890.00

“… Are you colorblind?” 

Rustic Pants

Zara
zara.com

$69.90

“My look is inspired by Harry Styles and his song ‘Kiwi.’ Also, don’t touch me.”

The Cotton Quilted Jacket

Everlane
everlane.com

$98.00

“This down jacket screams ‘Not in today’s climate!'”

Foxy Leather and Faux-Fur Coat

Saks Potts
selfridges.com

£1,360.00

“Sorry I can’t hear you my coat is too loud.”

V-Neck Ruffle Blouse

Victoria Beckham
victoriabeckham.com

$930.00

“Stop right there, thank you very much. I need somebody without a human touch.” 

Madden Blazer

Staud
staud.clothing

$300.00

*Laughs in chartreuse*  

7/8 Flex Leggings

Outdoor Voices
outdoorvoices.com

$75.00

“I suddenly feel like running in the opposite direction.” 

Pleated Wrap Dress

H&M
hm.com

$69.99

Recycled Tie-Dye Tee

Urban Renewal
urbanoutfitters.com

$19.00

“I will tie-die if you come any closer”

Intarsia Jumper

Marc Jacobs x Magda Archer
farfetch.com

$695.00

“My sweater literally says ‘stay away from toxic people.’ It’s not open to interpretation.”

Nike Jordan Flight Jumpsuit

Jordan
nordstrom.com

$180.00

*Do the fadeaway move* 

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